I make a lot of mistakes; here are a couple of which many of us can be guilty–talking instead of saying thank you, and failing to reciprocate in conversation.

Sometimes biting our tongue or better involving the other person would’ve been the wiser choice. So by way of two stories from the TECH cocktail Conference last week, I offer up my follies for your benefit.

I’m wrestling with whether or not this is a technology/productivity topic, but I believe lessons in behavior are even more relevant online–where your activities can be seen by thousands of people, and accessed years later. Now, onto the stories… Continue reading…

I know your secret because it’s mine, too: even busy, hard-working people finish everything they need to.  We (well, if you’d call me hard working) get to a point where we could do more work, but no deadline or emergency has tied us to our desks.   The best thing in this circumstance is to leave work and do something else.

The fact that I have to spell this out and even write this post is the problem.  Face it: many of us are little worker bees who don’t feel right about taking a break during traditional business hours.

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Though it’s the best time of the year to be outside here in DC,  fresh air comes in many other forms.  Surrounding yourself with that is what keeps me breathing easier–and generally sane.  So what the heck am I talking about–and how do you find it?
 

Fresh air for me has many names,

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Some books feel like they’ll never end, but they all have a last page. The web never ends. Finality is elusive when there’s always another link to click and mailbox to check. And the more social and prolific you become, the worse the predicament.

Today I want to offer you some limits–some that have helped me and others with which I still struggle. Monitors may get lighter and cheaper every year, but the weight and toll of the backlit universe they materialize has grown out of control. It’s time to get away.

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Keeping in touch isn’t good enough.  Social media improves the quantity of connections but not necessarily the quality of relationships.  So how do you build a real friendship with people you don’t see regularly?

You create presence.  This concept has long helped me in romantic relationships but it’s equally relevant with friends and colleagues.  I want to address this for three reasons:

1. I see people using social media as a replacement for other forms of relationship building.  It is a vehicle for keeping in touch, not a destination
2. Keeping in touch is different than presence–both easier and more difficult
3. I’ve just returned from the School of Blogging Conference and I want to hold onto some of those folks (#sobcon08)

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Social networking and blogging can feel like a high school cafeteria, full of cliques and at-times silly symbols of popularity.  But unlike high school, there are always more people to win over and stages to advance.

Take a step away from the contests and consider applying the lessons you’ve learned in the real world to build deeper relationships online.

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Actually it’s curiosity that prevented him from ever becoming one. There are formulas, many formulas for spreading your message or building a personal brand online. These formulas actually work, but not if you let curiosity be the death of you first. Here you’ll find advice on spending your time a little more wisely on the internet so that you find your formula and stick with it.

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Being a rockstar is a damn good use of your time. Many struggle to find their career path, and others advise something like, “don’t settle: do something where you’re happy.” But what could be more elusive than happiness? I suggest that you surround yourself with objective validation that you’re awesome. Then you’ll feel like a rockstar.

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We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy

-Walter Anderson

However much you trust the people that work for you–trust them more.  If no one reports to you, trust that someone could…and find them.  The greatest barrier to getting other people to do your work is you.

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At the end of this I list specific tips for escaping from information overload, but first I address why and how I’ve chosen what I personally read.

For the last few years I was in two book clubs, before that I ran my own, and my yearly resolutions have usually had a “read more” clause. Not this year. I still love reading, but I’ve decided that it must be either a pleasant escape or practical for work. Cutting back has been tough for me, because I enjoy the newspaper, classic fiction, contemporary nonfiction, philosophy… I could read for days and days . But I’ve canceled my Washington Post subscription, I’m focusing on the authors I enjoy most, and constantly trimming my RSS.

One of the reasons why I’m so into “productivity” is because I usually feel I have too much to do. There’s nothing more daunting than a pile of unread books and periodicals that grows ever larger. So I’ve cut back on my inputs and focused on leaving time for reading things I truly enjoy. Never letting too much material get in front of me in the first place has been the key.

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