by Jared Goralnick
Update 4/2/08: This is a joke.
Researching the success of internet legends like Tim Ferriss (who doesn’t even write his blog) or Darren Rowse (who recently launched a successful Pay Per Tweet program), I came to discover that their hidden weapon was a place to escape. Tim wrote most of his book abroad in the early mornings. Darren updates his many blogs while surrounded by the beauty of Melbourne, Australia–I hear people are nice to each other over there. Fortunately we folks in the States have an accessible and equally effective option.
The average American spends 14 days each year (or 3 years of their life) in the bathroom. It’s time to make the most of that time. I bring to you GTDotJ — Getting Things Done on the John.
When David Allen’s Getting Things Done was first published, wireless internet wasn’t prevalent like today. Most bathroom activities were limited to boring magazines and dirty jokes (or the other way around). All that has since changed–squat on the toilet, plop a laptop on your thighs, toss in a wee bit of wi-fi, and you’ll be a productivity maniac.
The benefits to working on the John are immense:
- you don’t have to share this cubicle
- it’s easier to reserve than a conference room
- the busier you are, the fewer the people will interrupt
- even if you read a single email, you’re already doing double
dutthe work
As with all of my blog posts, I want to give you more than just the theory–I want you to be able to practice your next next actions and have time for that weekly review. You wouldn’t believe how much is actionable when GTDotJ’ing. Here’s how to make it happen:
- Use the toilet before others that day; this should serve to minimize the distraction of others’ “work” from earlier
- If you have busy restroom facilities, consider a USB fan — not only will this provide fresher air, but its gentle hum will help to offset any existing “ambient” noise
Consider a couple books or a foot stool to place your feet on and help prevent your legs from falling asleep from the weight of your laptop. You don’t really need an explanation
- If you’re going to plug in your laptop, be sure you’re using safe electrical sockets like the one pictured to the right. You still might die if you drop your laptop in the bowl, but fewer things nearby will short-circuit
- Better yet, use wireless electricity
- Remove all magazines and joke books–remember, you’re supposed to be working here
- Consider foods high in fiber, to keep you from having to return to your desk too often
- Learn where your phone’s mute button is. Practice pressing it without looking
- Clean your laptop regularly with a disinfectant wipe such as these
- If you have multiple stalls at the office, consider rotating many pairs of shoes or simply wearing different ones to the bathroom–to mask your restroom identity
I hope that this serves to increase both your work and bathroom productivity. Don’t think I’m serious?–why else would Flickr have a group dedicated to toilet computing?
I’d like to hear your thoughts on GTDotJ–has it worked for you? Please answer this quick survey and offer your experiences in the comments below.
How often do you work with your laptop or phone...in the bathroom?
- Daily (39%, 9 Votes)
- Eww!!! (39%, 9 Votes)
- Weekly (13%, 3 Votes)
- Monthly (9%, 2 Votes)
Total Voters: 23
Loading ...Image credits: GTD map adapted from A Million Monkeys Typing blog, cartoon by bornazombie Flickr, happy toilet by gwdesq Flickr
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I just about fell out of my chair when I got half way through this post. I was laughing that hard. Brilliant!
-Scott
Too funny. But seriously some of the best ideas were conceived on the commode.
Personally, I’m a huge fan of toilet computing (or, as it’s known more colloquially, sh*tternetting). There’s nothing quite like the unbridled focus one can experience with quiet solitude, and nothing says quiet solitude quite like the throne.
This is one of those articles that needed to be written. One of those little secrets of knowledge work that we enjoyed by few can now cascade across the minds of the masses.
Author, you have my undying respect. Crap on.
Thanks, Scott, Mark, & Brett! You all are productivity mavens in your own right so I appreciate the respect for my accomplishments on today’s throne.
You almost said duty :)
Very funny stuff! There is something about white porcelain that just inspires great thinking in so many humans!
Without doubt, this is the way of the future!
Brilliant, Jared
(a weekly on the john worker)
The original “Cheaper by the Dozen” was a book written by Frank Gilbreth and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey about growing up with their 10 siblings and their parents, Frank and Lillian Gilbreths. The parents were two of the pioneers in motion study and factory efficiency.
One story in the book is how every summer, they went to the beach for a couple of months. The father wanted each child to learn something during the summer, like Morse code or something. To facilitate the learning, he made educational posters which were posted on opposite the toilets in the beach house. This ensures many hours of careful study during the summer.
And on a more significant note, Robert Lucky, a retired engineer who writes a column for IEEE Spectrum magazine, noted that it took 20 million manhours to build the Panama Canal. Now, over 9 billion manhours are spent every year playing computer solitaire. Thank you Bill Gates.
Thanks for the credit on the HAppy Toilet Photo – a great way to listen to podcasts in the bath!
Thank you, Gordon!! You’ve got some great photos on your Flickr page!
i love this post!